I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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