this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
