Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
