This girl is more easily done than said...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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