Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
