I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
