When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
