before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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