How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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