It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize