Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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