I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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