Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
