Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
