Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
