Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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