Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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