You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
