when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's Friday. Sex?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
