She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
