Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
