her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
