whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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