Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
