we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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