All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
