In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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