To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
