We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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