Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
