I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
