When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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