Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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