Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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