walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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