Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
