I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
please come you make the beer taste better
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
