On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize