okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize