What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
