Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
