That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
