GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
