im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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