thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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