HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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