Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
