just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
