i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
