I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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