I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i believe in u and ur pee
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
