we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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