I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
