Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
