I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
