Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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