so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
