Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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