my mouth tastes like poor choices
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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