I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
