Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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